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Help Find a Cure… Yeahbutitis….

June 26th, 2012 | 1 comment

The world is a great mirror.

It reflects back to you what you are. If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful, the world will prove loving and friendly and helpful to you.

The world is what you are.

~Thomas Dreier~

I recently had an opportunity to talk with two people I haven’t seen in some time.  We chatted about this and that, and they provided updates to me about how things were going in their life.

Since the last time I had talked with them, they went on a trip and they bought a new car.  Their child had a glowing report card from school, with perfect grades.  And much, much more.  To me, it seemed like they had a multitude of blessings.  From my vantage point, life was good……

However….they did not see it like I did.  Let me explain.

When I complimented them on the beautiful brand spanking new shiny car, I received this response.  “Yeah, its beautiful, but you would not believe what we had to go through at the dealership to get what we wanted.  Oh my God, the service was atrocious, and…..”

When I exclaimed that their trip to such an exotic location must have been an experience of a lifetime, I received this response.  “Yeah, it was good, but we probably would not go back there again.  The food was mediocre at best, and I didn’t like the bedding at all.  Couldn’t get a good night’s sleep.  And don’t even get me started on the bugs!”

Whew….the heaviness of the conversation was overwhelming to me.  So, I thought, I’m going to go to a safe place, their child.  Surely, their will be nothing negative to report on their pride and joy, the fruit of their loins….right?

Wrong.

When I complimented them on their child and the wonderful academic success, they responded, “Yeah, but you know, you always have to be pushing if you want to see grades like that.  It’s like it never ends. And some of the teachers this year were really something!”

I need to be honest, I couldn’t wait to get away from these people.  I like them, but the negativity was oppressive.  Nothing was good enough.

Do you know anyone like that?  No matter what good is happening in their lives, they always see what didn’t work out.  So, when you try to celebrate the blessings of their lives with them, they come down with a bad case of “Yeahbutitis.”

Yeahbutitis is a common disorder found only in humans. It is contagious, as persons exposed to an infected human tend to absorb the negative thoughts, and perspective can be shifted with prolonged exposure. Characteristics of the afflicted human include:

  • Cannot accept something as completely good, and must find fault with some aspect of the experience.  This is the opposite of the cloud with silver lining effect.  Yeahbutitis  sufferers recognize the day at the beach, but focus on the sunburn, the jellyfish, the sand in their sandwich or the obnoxious sunbathers adjacent to their spot on the beach.
  • Yeahbutitis is not related to your personal circumstances or situation in life.  People from all walks of life, income levels, and cultures can be affected. It is related to your internal vision….what you choose to see in your life.
  • Treatment:  a strict daily regimen of gratitude, refocusing your life on what is good.  This doesn not mean that you are denying the imperfections.  Rather, it means you are focused on what is working in your life.  Treatment has shown to have  remarkable results when the patient is ready to make a change.

I know this is a silly way to describe it, but think about it the next time you are talking about your life.  What’s your focus?  What about your social circle?  Do you know anyone like this?

As a recovering Yeahbutitis sufferer, I know it’s not easy.  But recovery is possible.

We all know that life is not perfect.  There’s always going to be ants at the picnic, or flies in the ointment. And there’s going to be worse than that if you want me to be completely honest.

That’s why it’s important the celebrate the good when it comes.  Don’t lessen your celebration by feeling that you need to acknowledge what’s not working.  Trust me, we already know that life is not perfect.

Celebrate the good now, and all those one little things that make life’s imperfections a little easier to deal with…..

Let’s find a permanent cure for Yeahbutitis……by counting your blessings each and every day.

Everyone has his burden. What counts is how you carry it.

~Merle Miller~

Wishing you a day filled with silver linings,

Kelly

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One person has commented
  1. Kelly thank you for the belly laugh this morning! I am a silver lining kind of girl and I have a few people in my life that have severe cases of yeahbutitis….I believe they can overcome this affliction and I try to help them see the good in all situations,sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t I tune them out and hear Charlie Brown’s teacher whawhawha. This takes the heaviness away from the conversation and as I am walking away I have a little smile on my face!

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