A Special Commencement Message

You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world.

~Tom Brokaw~

 

Today is a special day.

Today is graduation day for North Carolina State University. Today, many of Stephen’s beautiful friends will be starting a new chapter in their lives, and will be celebrating the special milestone of college completion. And, if life had not changed, today would have been Stephen’s graduation day. Who knows, maybe it still is. There’s no reason why you can’t have a cap and gown ceremony in heaven right?

In any case, on this very special day, I’ve been thinking about what Stephen would say today if he had the opportunity. I suppose in many ways that’s what I’ve been writing about all along.

If Stephen was here today, I believe that he would tell his fellow graduates:

Drink up every moment: Live like there is no tomorrow. Give it everything you have, even if it seems like it may not pay off. Take chances, stop to smell the roses. Really listen to people when they are talking to you, especially the children you will eventually have. Give back, and understand that opening your heart to others is the only way to live life to the fullest. Give love freely, and don’t hold back because you’re afraid to be hurt.

 Understand the True Meaning of Power: You now officially have those letters behind your name, giving you a professional designation. Congratulations. Use those letters to work professionally, but don’t let them become who you are. The number of letters you have behind your name does not make you smart. The title on your office door does not make you powerful. Understand that a truly powerful person is someone who knows that you don’t need to be better than anyone and sees the potential in everyone.

Don’t Grow Up: Today is all about growing up right? The cap, the gown, and transitioning into the adult world of work, of mortgages and responsibility and becoming a contributing member of society. But here’s the secret. You will have to become more responsible, but you don’t have to grow up. Keep your enthusiasm for life, act silly, look at life with the wonder of a child. Keep seeing the magic, because it is all around you. Your ability to see the magic is one of the biggest pieces of living a life of joy.

Don’t Settle: There will be people and situations in your life that will present you with a choice. The choice will be to believe in the greatness of who you are, or the greatness of someone or something else. Believe in yourself. Don’t settle. Don’t assume that this is all there is. Because the possibilities for you are endless. Don’t stop believing that all of your dreams can come true and you deserve to have them. Because they can come true, and you deserve it all.

Focus on the Similarities Instead of the Differences. This goes for race, religion, politics, friendships, marriages, laundry detergent, ketchup, you name it. Judging people based on how they differ from you closes your mind and heart to the possibilities of this world. Understand that the greatest strength comes from diversity. Embrace that and you will hold the strongest energy force in your hands.

Don’t Let Anyone Else Define You. This is a big one, because it is something that can break your spirit. Don’t let anyone define who you are, not because of your mistakes, or your accomplishments. Don’t let yourself be defined by a moment in your life, ever. Understand that your life is based on all of it, and only God sees the whole picture of who you are, inside and out.

Approach your life with an attitude of gratitude and love. This is another biggee. Because sometimes, life is going to deal you a big old crate of lemons. Approach your life with gratitude and you will see abundance, even when things are not going so great.

Learn how to forgive. This should have been a required course to graduate. Forgiving will be one of your hardest lessons, but you must learn it if you want to have a fulfilled life. It is not easy, especially when the hurt runs deep. But you need to know how to forgive if you want to be happy.

Understand that life is imperfect, and that is okay. Things rarely go as planned. That is part of the journey. Don’t look at your life as a mix of problems and solutions. Because some problems have no solutions. They are simply there in your life to teach you. Trying to find a solution for everything will only leave you feeling like a failure. Make peace with the perfection of imperfection.

Look around, into the faces of your fellow graduates. And know this: If you are still on this earth, there is a reason. You have a purpose, and your job is to discover it. Go out in this world and make a difference. Know that you have the power within each of you to do wonderful things. Believe it.

I believe that is what he would tell us today, confident in his words, speaking his truth.

My heart is literally breaking today. But I am still thankful.  I am grateful that I raised a boy who would have said and believed every word.

Happy Graduation Stephen.